Return
to the Nichole Nordeman home page
Return to the Christian Music
Lighthouse home page
Holy
This song is among the most important to me on
this record. It would seem to sum up best where I am now, and how I got
here...to a place where there is very little else that matters other than
acknowledging God’s holiness. I have noticed a pattern in my spiritual life
lately, the notion that some of the most profound truths are found in the most
simple utterances. This song is a tribute to that simplicity. It chronicles some
of my years and seasons of wandering and searching, and points eventually to an
astonishingly simple discovery. "Somehow all that matters now is, You
are holy." That’s really where I am these days. Recognizing that we
can argue theology until we’re all bored or dead, or join history’s great
teachers and philosophers in asking the most confounding, unanswerable questions
of the ages. But in the end, there will always be a bottom line. God is holy. We
are not. And we can’t begin to come close to understanding that holiness. Or
imitating it. At best, in fact, we can shield our eyes from it. And hope only to
assume a posture before Him that communicates that we know the importance
of saying it over and over again...holy...holy...holy.
Written after this song was #1 for more than eight weeks:
Many of you have written me asking about the inspiration behind
"Holy." As a songwriter, most (if not all) of my songs are born out of
a personal experience or a certain place I have been spiritually. This song was
no exception...and has sort of become the "anthem" to what the rest of
Woven & Spun is about. Namely, that I have spent plenty of time searching
for the truth in places where it can't be found. (Notice that I didn't say
"wasted" time...because I believe those experiences were very valuable
as a means to an end). I've traveled down many roads, bought a slew of self-help
books, dabbled in the "religion of the moment" and found myself right
back at the feet of Jesus. Coming to Christ can be a long process for some.
Especially us skeptical, brooding, thinking types (: Even as a child raised and
reared in the church, my questions went unanswered for many years. Finally
falling on my knees before God and surrendering the years of cynicism and doubt,
didn't answer every single question. But it did allow me to loosen the grip I
had on them. The very simple acknowledgment that God is Holy...and we are
not...gave me a different perspective. I no longer feel entitled to hold the
answers to the universe...just grateful to occupy a small corner of it.
Mercies New
I feel tremendously grateful to be loved by a God that doesn’t keep score.
I suspect that one of the things that most keeps us from living on abundant life
is the fear that our past transgressions (or our current ones, for that matter)
continue to be carefully and permanently recorded in some kind of celestial
ledger. This is, after all, how we approach our own human relationships. How
many times have I heard (or said) "Well, that’s the last time I’m
gonna get hurt by him/her!" We establish clear boundaries regarding what we
will tolerate from each other in the way of disappointments, anger, betrayal and
frustration. Not so with God. A verse in Lamentations reminds me that his
mercies are new every time the sun rises with the morning. "Up comes the
sun, on every one of us." No mention of ledgers that I can find. Just
an opportunity to start over, which is an offer I accept every day. Out of
gratitude, certainly, but mostly out of sheer necessity.
Healed
Of all the things that intrigue me about the way things work in God’s
economy, I think I am most moved by the miracle of how he transforms us. It is
with humility that I watch as what I bring to the table is reborn and renewed
and refined, until it is resembles nothing like what I came in with. "We
stutter and we stammer till you say us. A symphony of chaos, till you play
us." Nothing is lovely, nothing is acceptable, nothing is adequate of
our own doing...until the breath of God finds us. Only then are we free and
found. And healed.
Legacy
I guess there’s no real way around it...this song is pretty much about my
career in Christian music. For those of us artistic types, the tendency to
become utterly consumed with the concern abut the perception of other
people...about our lives, our photo shoots, and about our art, is pretty common.
And speaking personally, pretty paralyzing. For the first couple of years, I did
my best impression of someone who didn’t care. Didn’t read my own press
(yeah, right) and didn’t even want to watch the Dove Awards on TV, much
less attend. I had all sorts of philosophical and spiritual expiations that
accompanied my piety. And I can remember, with embarrassment, several
conversations with certain people that must have laughed softly and my naiveté
and false humility. The truth is, I do care. We all care. I want people to like
me. And my music. And when they don’t like either...or both...I feel sick to
my stomach. Thomas Merton puts it beautifully:
"If you write for God, you will reach many men and bring them joy. If you
write for men - you may make some money and you may give someone a little joy
and you may make a noise in the world, for a little while. If you write only for
yourself you can read what you yourself have written, and after ten minutes you
will be so disgusted you will wish that you were dead."
Been there, done that. I wrote this song for God. About wanting to leave
something more in the world besides a boost in Soundscan last week...a legacy
that involves a life full of choosing to point to the Creator instead of pulling
my arm out of joint trying to reach back far enough to give myself a good pat. A
legacy of love. A legacy that "makes a mark on things" and
leaves "an offering." But don’t kid yourself, I still care
way too much about whether or not you like my music.
I Am
So much of the Old Testament is full of story after story of God’s
faithfulness. There is a tendency in contemporary Christianity to forget, or
worse yet, dismiss the powerful truths found in these Old Testament stories, as
we tend to focus primarily on the words and teachings of Christ. One of those
stories that has really impacted me is the one in the third chapter of Exodus
where Moses finds himself standing in front of a burning bush. In this same
story, God asks Moses to do something very difficult - confront Pharaoh and
demand the release of the Israelites. While Moses is willingly obedient, he ask
a pretty fair question..."Who shall I say sent me?" And God from these
fiery branches says simply, "This is what you are to say to the Israelites:
I AM has sent me to you." What a seemingly cryptic answer...I am. Is it
possible that the God of Abraham and Isaac and Jacob, the God of each generation
before me, the God who was burning in that bush before Moses, says the same
things in the face of the impossible "Pharaohs" I face I Am.
Whatever I need Him to be. He says, I Am. Wherever I need to find him, He says,
I Am. It is this thread of God’s consistency and faithfulness that is woven
throughout our lives. This is the stuff we can take to the bank. This is the known
in the fact of all unknowns. Would Moses have been so quick to remove his
shoes, if he was uncertain about how steady the ground was? Somehow, I’m not
sure...
In Your Eyes
One of my all time favorite songs. I’m guessing I’m not very alone in
that. Not knowing Peter Gabriel personally (I regretfully admit), I wouldn’t
feel very comfortable commenting on the inspiration of this song. I don’t know
who it’s intended subject is, or whose "eyes" he speaks of. I do
know that very early on when I heard it years ago, it moved me to a place of
deep reflection and worship before God. That’s what excellent music does to
me, whether it was intended to be a "Christian" song or not. For me,
this song is bout seeing ourselves the way our Maker sees us... "In your
eyes, the light the heat, I am complete. I see the doorway to a thousand
churches. The resolution of all my fruitless searches..." Fruitless,
indeed...
Even Then
Some good friends sat on my couch the other night, and listened to my
husband and I wrestle out loud with some things that were less than perfect in
our lives. One of our friends turned to me and asked rather gently, "Are
you still able to offer God your praise in the midst of all of this?" I
momentarily considered lying through my teeth, but instead quietly admitted that
no, I wasn’t. And no, we hadn’t. The notion of genuinely praising God in
the midst and through and for difficult things is a real stretch
for me. This is where the immaturity of my faith really surfaces. Is it possible
that the author of Hebrews understood very well how oxy-moronic the term
"sacrifice of praise" really is? Praise is supposed to come naturally,
from a deep well of thanksgiving, right? Sacrifice is something that’s hard
and difficult and requires great trust and even personal loss, right? How do
these two concepts even wind up in the same sentence together? I don’t know.
Probably never will. I do know that my friends reminded me that offering our
thanksgiving to God is not optional. It’s not a suggestion. It’s
imperative... "even when the pieces are broken and small...even
then."
Never Loved You More
I have been learning so much recently about what
it means to live abundantly. For those of us who’ve grown up in the church, we
are in danger, I believe, of becoming very short-sided in imagining that once we’ve
accepted the gift of salvation, the gift-giving ends. And so does our
journey...as quickly as it began, with very few miles traveled. Yes, there is no
doubt, Jesus was sent to save us, and save us, He did. And eternal salvation is
a guarantee for those who profess Him as Lord. So, why do so many Christians
(myself included) find themselves saying at some point, "So that’s it?
That’s all there is?" No, that’s not it. The abundant life is one
that overflows with evidence of an active relationship with Christ, not one that
has decided to nap until He comes. Every once in awhile, there will be a story
on the news about someone winning the lottery jackpot. Only trouble is, he doesn’t
know it. Somebody out there has a winning ticket in the pocket of his favorite
jeans, wadded up on the floor next to his bed, and he has no clue. Is this how
God feels? Do we wander around unaware of our "wealth" in Him, and
unsure of how to claim it? Does He jump up and down and yell, "But you
already won! It’s in your pocket!!" I wrote this song from a place of
praise. From a place of disbelief and wonder that He intends to bless us beyond
what we can imagine, if we let Him. "Never mind moderation, You exceed
my expectations." Ephesians 3:20 says it best, "Now glory be to
God! By His mighty power at work within us, He is able to accomplish infinitely
more than we would ever dare to ask or hope." (NLV) I’ll say. Much, much
more.
Take Me As I Am
I call this my "wish list" song...I realize that there is a very
healthy aspect to self-improvement, especially in my spiritual life. If we ever
stop striving to become more like Christ, then we live in danger of settling for
apathy. There is a fine line, however, between hungering after a more
Christ-like life, and begrudgingly coveting a place in someone else’s journey.
"But the gap grows wider, between who I really am and all that I aspire
to be." I have found myself in the past feeling so intimidated by
someone who might have it more "together" than I do spiritually. He’s
a better Christian. She’s more godly. You know the drill. One of the enemy’s
favorite tools is to make me feel inadequate by comparison, and it works with
astonishing accuracy. Jesus makes it very clear...come as you are. It is not
about measuring ourselves against any other standard, or anybody else’s faith
journey. We are not judged on a sliding scale, thank God... (because I know a
couple of people who would really screw up the circle). We are loved. Loved and
loved. And welcomed. And cherished. And ushered in without condition. And He’s
the only one that can make that promise.
To Praise You (My Offering)
How does one set out to write a record about the goodness of God, and not
write about His creation? Not very easily. I have always been drawn
to the elements of creation that remind me of an aspect of my Maker. I
have wondered at times, if God had created me to be a part of his landscape, how
would I find a way to praise Him? Does His creation struggle to sing Him
praises, if they can't find human words or voices. I don't think so.
I imagine that in some way that the grass knows how much the Father loves to see
the color green, and that the clouds know exactly how to melt Him with a orange
sunset. Scripture says that He will give "the rocks and stones
voices of their own, if we forget to sing..." So we mustn't
forget. Although there are days when I'm selfishly tempted, just to hear
what real rock and roll might sound like...
Gratitude
There are so many different ways to approach your prayer life. And
just about as many different teachings on the "how-to's" and
"when to's" and "how much to's" about prayer. It's
pretty overwhelming. There are moments when it's just me and God, and so
much I want to say and ask, and still I find myself preoccupied with whether or
not I'm following the correct formula... (Do I thank Him for His blessings
first, and then hit him up later?) You get the picture.
Prayer is not my strong suit. And the more I learn about all that it can
and should be, the more intimidating it feels to hit my knees. Here's what
I do know. When God hears my prayers, there are more than the three boxes
of Yes, No and Not now that I always envision him checking with
his giant God pencil. There are other ways to answer. It's possible
I'm learning, that God might just have a bigger picture than we do...a wider
view...a better sense of what is best for our lives. And yet, we continue
to pray fervently about the specifics of the desires and our hearts and I think
that's good. He asks us to. But I am no longer surprised at "the
differences that often are between everything we want and what we really
need." He will take care of His children. But it's
anybody's guess as to how He chooses to...