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“After every song I write I wonder
if I'll ever be able to write another. I don't feel like a very gifted
writer. But for some reason God delights to use imperfect things. I'm
blown away when I see Him do something through me that I know was
impossible. I have so little to do with it, but He lets me be a part of
it, and I love that." – Bethany Dillon
Bethany Dillon's 2004 Sparrow Records debut stood out, because at only
14, she was a serious writer and artist creating her own material,
mature beyond her years, with an authenticity of expression and an
ability to own the emotion in her music. Audiences connected with her
first record almost immediately, and the results included several hit
singles, multiple Dove nods, critical acclaim, and an exponentially
increasing grassroots fan base that propelled her career forward in
great leaps.
Now four birthdays later, an 18-year-old Bethany is releasing her third
acoustically-rooted, rock-influenced, pop project, Waking Up.
This release finds her venturing into ever-deeper waters musically and
thematically, leaning forward into life, and beginning to wrestle with
her own shadows even as she celebrates the light that illumines them.
The x-factor that informs
Bethany
's constantly maturing artistry is the fact that her songs aren't
created in a vacuum. They're coming from a place of personal weakness
and hope that she willingly lives in, in increasing measure. For
Bethany
, there's no such thing as an easy song. All of them are hard earned,
and fraught with wonder and meaning.
"Waking Up is the most joyful record I've made,"
Bethany
explains, "even though it revolves around themes of brokenness and
this feeling of being really, really small in the presence of God. When
the Lord is growing something in me, it feels like a lot of things are
dying—because they really are. And when the Lord is making things soft
and vulnerable in me, it's really painful. But even so, I think this is
the freest sounding project I've created." |

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Influenced for years by penetrating and poetic
writers like Rich Mullins, Keith Green, and Sara Groves,
Bethany
has tended to gravitate toward themes that require a measure of courage and
open-heartedness to explore. Co-produced by GMA's 2005 Producer of the Year Ed
Cash, as well as Will Hunt and John Alagia (John Mayer, Dave Matthews Band), Waking
Up embraces big questions of suffering, barrenness, vulnerability, romance,
and faithfulness. Like the writers Bethany has modeled herself after, she proves
herself willing to live and create in that place of ambivalent tension that
inevitably comes from refusing to settle for easy, feel-good answers. And yet,
like the psalmist,
Bethany
has a penchant for finding the redemption in the midst of the pain.
"The first song on the record is 'The
Kingdom,'"
Bethany
explains. "I wrote it while I was visiting my cousin and his wife. They
had suffered the loss of two babies who both died within a few days of birth.
The song comes from a place of not understanding, but seeing that somehow our
grief is sweet to God, because it makes our need for Him tangible. The barren
womb screams of our need for Jesus; the young girl with cancer screams of our
need for Jesus. The things that are broken and empty and in need of hope, they
remind us of the coming Kingdom, of the things we can't see yet. Our heartbreaks
push us to Christ."
In fact, it was a heartbreaking trip to
India
last year that served as the catalyst for several of the songs on Waking Up.
Shocked by her first encounter with the wrenching poverty, sickness, and despair
of the Third World,
Bethany
found herself struggling with the outward burden of overwhelming need, and the
related inward struggle to reevaluate her own materialism and desire for comfort
in life.
"It was a confusing journey,"
Bethany
admits. "The whole time I was there I just felt like weeping. Nothing can
prepare you for the reality of what it's like. Standing at the train station;
the smell of poverty; the people laying on mats all around you; a girl holding a
baby tapping on your arm, just standing there tapping. But you know you can't
even make eye contact or you'll be mobbed by all the homeless people around you.
Everything in me just wanted to get down on that sidewalk covered with flies and
hold that little girl and cry."
During one of the long train rides through
India
,
Bethany
poured her confusion into one of the more expansive, haunting, experimental
songs on the record, "Beggar's Heart." By personalizing her response,
and pointing it back to her own need, she managed to avoid cliché, creating a
compelling invitation for listeners to carry the darkness of their own hearts
into the light.
"The hardest part of going to
India
,"
Bethany
observes, "is being back here now with a full stomach and a nice room and
a superstore close by. I see the pictures of the orphans I met pinned up on my
wall and I know how different their lives are. I'm still struggling with what an
appropriate response is. I know it's going to be a process for me, for a middle
class white kid who grew up in the country. It'll take some time to realize what
it really looks like for me to reflect Jesus."
Another foray into new territory for
Bethany
was the inclusion of several cuts on Waking Up that deal with love and
human relationships. Drawing on her own observations, as well as those of family
and friends, she finds in such relationships a living portrait of the
"divine romance" of God for His people.
"I feel like the things expressed in love
songs are sometimes the closest and clearest reflection of our relationship with
Jesus,"
Bethany
explains. "When it's sweet and whole-hearted, to me it's such an echo of
the Source of those things: pursuit, unconditional love, faithfulness,
affection. Those are all things worth talking and writing and singing
about."
Such songs might be an unexpected surprise for
fans who have grown accustomed to the hard-working, professional, on-stage
Bethany
, but have never had the privilege of spending a low-key afternoon with the
"average-18-year-old" side of her. On the road or off, downtime for
Bethany
is a coveted commodity, and she always knows exactly how she wants to spend
it—in unstructured re-charging, sometimes alone, sometimes with family and
friends.
"My off-days are often spent
babysitting," she says, "which I love to do! Staying home with my
younger brothers is such a refreshing thing. I miss it when I've been out on the
road. Babysitting, cleaning around the house, reading, journaling, spending time
with my family, it's a treat to have time to do those things. I'm very much an
introvert, so even if I'm in some random city between shows, I love to find a
bookstore, grab a cup of coffee, sit in a corner and just be quiet for hours on
end."
At the end of the day, it's probably the fact
that Bethany has made it a priority to remain grounded in real life, in family,
in friendships, and in her faith that has allowed her to keep four years of
career successes in context. In fact, she says, it's the people who know her
well enough to "knock her down to size, or to speak an encouraging
word" when she needs it, who have kept her going and focused on the things
that are eternally important.
"Records collect dust and they get
scratched up and they'll get stepped on in someone's car and the packaging
gets lost," she acknowledges. "My highest hope for these songs is just
that people who listen are somehow overwhelmed by the reality of Jesus."
For
a young artist whose career discography has already revealed deep insight and
spiritual maturity beyond her years, there's no doubt listeners will indeed be Waking
Up to the heartbeat of Christ in
Bethany
's music once again.
Click here to read a biography for
"Imagination"
Click here to read a biography for "Bethany
Dillon"